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'I just wanted to show that comfort is a beautiful thing.' Esther Gerritsen, in her new novel Faith and Conscience, explores

With her new novel, Esther Gerritsen takes a surprising path. The comforter is more serious in tone than we have come to expect from her in recent years. "In the past, I would not have dared to do this, write about religion and then also without it being very funny."

Uncanny

'Beautiful isn't it, the cover?' Esther Gerritsen is delighted with the cover of The comforter, with a somewhat uncanny detail of the panel Hell of Hieronymus Bosch on it. 'I wanted the cover image to have something mysterious and pagan. This is earthy and dark.' Gerritsen giggles. 'You don't always manage to get your way.'

More serious

Her new novel is huskier and more serious in tone than we have come to expect from Gerritsen in recent years. Very different from Thirst example, the tragicomic family drama about a mother and daughter that has been filmed and premiered on 15 March.

What has remained the same is that her characters are often a tad strange. Jacob, a man with a crooked face, is a caretaker at a monastery, which the monks open to people who want to retire for a while. One day Henry Loman knocks on the door, the secretary of state for finance who has been compromised over a receipts affair. He wants to flee the scandals and get away from his wife Alicia.

Jacob and Henry are attracted to each other and become friends: Henry because, as an unbeliever, he is fascinated by Jacob's obvious faith; Jacob because, as a man who scares others because of his face, he is flattered by Henry's attention. He allows himself to be tempted by his new friend to drink from the mass wine at night and visit the pagan Easter fire. And he even protects Henry when the latter rapes one of the female guests, by concealing his act from the monastic brothers.

Men's Friendship

This is a different book from your previous ones - a 'real Gerritsen' is characterised by the witty situations and dialogues.

'Yes, in this book I didn't deal with dialogues at all. I wanted to write about men's friendship and conscience, and especially about religion, and about the Catholic liturgy. The New Testament, the Passion of Jesus - I just decided all the way to go. It has indeed become a serious book. After writing Thirst, Roxy and whether Brother I thought: that is a period I am closing, now we are starting again. Before, I would not have dared to do this, write about religion and then also without it being very funny.

It feels safer when I am funny and write witty dialogues. But this is also a side of me, and suits what is happening inside me right now. Believing is a very personal subject to talk about, but not in an anecdotal way. Surely, "How is your relationship with your mother?" is a very different question from, "How is your relationship with God?

Esther Gerritsen: 'I find the concept of sin interesting'. ©Marc Brester/AQM

I wanted to explore what can be inspiring about faith and religion. And what faith means to me. What is my image of God? I also find the concept of sin interesting. These are difficult topics. In fiction, I can explore such things well. I wanted to write down as precisely as possible how believing works for someone personally. And then not someone who has doubts or is in a community where believing is strange, but rather someone for whom God is a self-evident presence.'

Against better judgment

Are you religious yourself?

'I come from a Catholic family. We were not very religious, but I was baptised and took communion. In my class, there were only two children who did not. The Bible stories are familiar to me. I think everyone of my generation knows the life story of Christ. Isn't that special, that a fictional story of someone who really existed was so present in your childhood? I didn't go to church for a very long time, but in recent years I have been going to a church here in Amsterdam again every now and then and I like that. If I were to say that I am religious, it sounds like I am very sure, and I am not. But I find that I do indeed believe, against my better judgment. The people I know who are dead, I place in a heaven. Then everyone can tell me why that's nonsense, and yet I leave them there. I can't explain it, but I live with the image of an agency outside us. Incidentally, in doing so, I don't imagine a God in charge. We humans are a bunch of mallards let loose in a big playground. You have to make do with what comes your way, but within that it is up to you what choices you make.'

Taboo

The current literature is more often about leaving a religious environment behind than seeking it out. Isn't a return to faith a bit of a taboo?

'I was afraid of that, yes. When I tell friends I go to church, I see some thinking: what is Esther going to do now? What kind of weird hobby is that? But when it comes to my book, people react positively so far.

After the war, at least in our country, religion first became more and then only less, less, less. Partly because of the abuse scandals, religion came to be seen in a bad light. People have started looking for meaning elsewhere. But I have the impression that interest is coming back a bit. Soon, at Easter, a lot of people will again be watching The Passion watching on television. Sorry, but that really is the Passion of Christ.

I can quite understand renouncing the faith if you were brought up very strictly religious and had miserable experiences with the Church. My father had to go to church every morning before school without food to get the host. Then at some point you are done with it.'

©Paulina Szafranska

Comfort

What interested you in the friendship between Jacob and Henry?

'When you look up to each other in friendship, you can lose yourself because you are eager for someone's approval. If you are very impressed by someone, you forgive them a lot and want their attention, even though you realise they might not be quite right. Why is that? Funnily enough, my book is now about how this friendship brings something bad and that even comfort can be bad. Initially, that was not my intention at all. Instead, I wanted to show that comfort is something beautiful.'

Wandaden

Why are Jacob and Alicia letting Henry get away with his misdeeds?

'Comforting is Alicia's way of binding Henry to her: she offers him the ultimate comfort and forgiveness, preventing him from having to face his conscience. As a result, he keeps returning to her anyway. Jacob examines his own conscience as he tries to insist that Henry look at himself. But Henry doesn't want to, so Jacob more or less takes the blame for his friend. This is more often how it goes with people who identify strongly with another person. I can understand the attraction they feel for Henry. I too can like 'bad' people, people to whom the usual rules don't apply.'

In the end, their story mainly revolves around the classic theme of guilt and penance.

'The concepts of guilt, penance and sin have taken on enormous weight. As human beings, we are usually more concerned with how we can shrug off the guilt. So for Jesus to say: I take all the blame on myself, is strange. What do you do with that story? I think it would be nice if people revisit the New Testament after reading this book. I think there is something to be said for the lighter way Jacob explains the concept of sin to Henry: we are all sinful as human beings, but there is no need to be difficult about that. We are not saints, nor do we need to become saints. We just do our best.'

The comforter has been published by De Geus (€21)

A Quattro Mani

Photographer Marc Brester and journalist Vivian de Gier can read and write with each other - literally. As partners in crime, they travel the world for various media, for reviews of the finest literature and personal interviews with the writers who matter. Ahead of the troops and beyond the delusion of the day.View Author posts

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