Today, for the first time in ages, we as a family are watching a 'normal' programme on TV again. No press conference, no content about Corona and its consequences but just TV with a plate on your lap, RTL-Boulevard, staring mindlessly at the tube. It's always a disjointed programme with a few stories here and there of which it's not clear to me why one, gets more attention than the other.
The presenters talk about a healthy tan: "nice bit of colour on those white legs can't hurt." The conversation is interspersed with clips showing famous and less famous white Dutch people under the sunbed and with self-tanner. "You just look a bit healthier and that's nice," says the glamour expert, who also likes to tan himself.
Healthy
In this context, we are talking about white people who like to look a shade or sometimes quite a few shades darker. My husband and children look at each other, what a bizarre conversation actually. We always have a 'nice' and 'healthy' tan. My youngest son shakes his head and my eldest proudly shows me his arm and says, "Look mum, a nice, healthy colour." My husband gets annoyed, inhales and looks at me.
Just before this item, they cover the story of 59-year-old Archie Williams a black American, who has been wrongfully imprisoned for 37 years. After his release, which could only be achieved through the interference of an advocacy organisation, he eventually competes in America's got talent. 'Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me' is the song he performs. I had seen this image of him before, with a lump in my throat, which I feel rising again. However, the item is treated as an announcement and gives way to sunburn and sunbed talk.
Westduin Park
Earlier this week, I take a long walk with my family through Westduin Park and the connecting residential area. There are a lot of white people around us. We and they notice that. Politely, we avoid each other; those are the new rules now. My husband noted earlier that white women in particular treat him differently, maybe even more kindly, at this 1.5 metres. "They feel safer because you can't get close anyway," is his analysis. There are also a few people of colour, we can count them on one hand by the way, altogether there are four. Two running and two sitting on a bench enjoying the sun. We don't know them but, greet them differently, all four of us notice. As we pass the jogging coloured people, I get a little nervous, the images of Ahmaud Abrery, recently shot dead, pop up in my head.
After the walk (and thoroughly washing my hands), I plop down on the sofa. With my husband, I zap back and forth a bit; we stumble across the programme BEAU. A disjointed programme with lots of white guests. There are many topics that come up: the launch of the space shuttle, the programme on Lego, the weather and the drought, baby Jayme's illness and last week's murder of George Floyd. A clip emerges of the mayor of Mineapolis he is searching for words: "He shouldn't have died," it sounds. My husband and I look at each other: "They shouldn't have killed him," we correct at the same time.
Crooked
Beau tries to make sense of it and asks John van den Heuvel in a somewhat naive voice, "it's not like that here, is it?" Mitch Hernandez sounds at the table... at the same time, Rishi Chandrikasing's name echoes through my head. In the Netherlands, we just don't call it a racist expression of a crooked system. Head in the sand and always wanting to find other explanations, that is the strategy. The lack of diversity in the two programmes shines through.
Another video is doing the rounds on Facebook, of a man filming a woman. He asks her politely, to leash her dog, which is the rule in that part of the park. She accuses him of threatening her, reaching for her phone and calling the emergency services. At the same time, she exhorts the man, to stop filming, as she approaches menacingly. In response, he asks her to keep her distance. Meanwhile, she gives the description of a black man, who is threatening her in the park. The epitome of white superiority. She knows her position in society and his and uses both in a sickening way.
Dog
'Fortunately' her racist act and systemic deployment of inequality is recorded. It is more common and unfortunately not believed because the so-called evidence is lacking. Yes, even here in the Netherlands. The comments from white Dutch onlookers are mainly about the dog, which is being walked by the woman. 'So, she almost chokes her dog,' 'Watch your dog, stupid bitch' and more such reflections. Not a word is said about the treatment that takes place, towards the man. Again, head in the sand and distraction tactics, which are common in the Netherlands.
My husband often has to deal with this kind of treatment, with physical and mental violence. The strategy then is to behave even more creamy than the Pope, precisely to protect yourself in the public space. Because who are they going to believe the big, black man or the (rude) white woman/man? I have been a spectator of this too many times, everything inside me screams at that moment. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do but stay calm and make yourself more professional than the authorities. De-escalate, breathe otherwise they will take your breath away.
Puberty issues
"I can't breathe," "You are killing me," "He can't breathe," "You killed him." How do you engage in conversations about this with your sons of colour, a question that parents of white children don't care about. I would also rather just have the conversations about adolescent issues. But here I am sitting with my husband, on a bench, explaining what their colour means in the public space. In tears I am, my son has already seen the George Floyd video and shared it on his Instagram story, he was alone with it and we did not know.
Just before the corona crisis, my son is accosted by security at his school on two different occasions. The first time, he is in broad daylight with his white classmates in the bike shed. The security guard asks him what he is doing there, if he is in school there and if he wants to leave. At the time, he has his backpack on and his bike in his hand. The other children are not addressed.
School
The second time is in school, in front of his white female classmates, he is threatened and sent out of school. My dear child of 14, who is as gentle as his father. My dear child of six feet tall is seen as a threat. We make arrangements with the school that, because of the corona crisis, have not yet been met. We keep courage and take it up for them, but lose patience. We are not looking forward to them going back to school for several reasons. In recent weeks, we have not had to worry about their coloured bodies in public spaces.
Men of colour in public spaces have no value. Their lives and well-being mean nothing. Muhammed Ali said something about this very early on: 'We are not second class citizens, that would actually be great. We are last class citizens, just not human enough.' Judith Butler's theory of 'Bodies that matter' ties in with this. Some bodies matter and others don't. Some bodies talk about getting a colour and others have a colour.
The meaning of that colour in public space is a completely different one. "If you want my colour so much, will you take my systemic exclusion at face value?" My youngest son wants to proclaim 'National White People's Day'. The idea behind it is that people of colour stay home that day and white people are allowed to roam freely without feeling threatened. 'As long as they leave us alone for the rest of the year then,' he concludes.
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