You can throw your ass to the curb, as an art sector, but you can also do something else, while staring with your big rabbit eyes into the headlights of an oncoming balderdash monster. And what is that other thing, the Amsterdam Arts Council wondered?
Cuddling to death, was the answer.
When Amsterdam's alderman for culture last week her plan unfolded for the local cut in arts subsidies, two things were immediately clear: Amsterdam is trying to develop a vision for the future of the arts, but refuses to compensate for the disproportionate revenge cut by the VVD's young guard. Indeed, 10 per cent is going off, on top of the 30% the hockey boys in The Hague had already come up with.
Of course that is impossible, and every right-thinking person understands that. And the Amsterdam Arts Council is made up of right-thinking people. So they come up with a response that is introduced with such a mountain of molasses and honey that after just two paragraphs you can be sure they are going to leave no stone unturned from the alderman's plans.
Quod Erat Demonstrandum: After about 10 huge compliments, the council states that it would like to make six minor comments on the councillor's plan.
Come they:
1: Don't cut back;
2 and 3: Do not change the way arts education is currently regulated (2 points);
4: Don't be so knee-jerk with your sell-out of real estate;
5: Get rid of the Uitburo altogether to Economic Affairs and keep the money for arts;
6: Give clubs that are completely out of it the option to get out and give them three-year subsidies to do so.
If the City Council approves all these six points, there will be virtually nothing left of Alderman Carolien Gehrels' austerity plan. But she will then have a lot of compliments in her pocket.
The advice is read here