In every stage performance, film, or concert, there is a scene that particularly touches you. In the documentary I want to be happy (2016) about the life of actress and cabaret performer Fien de La Mar (1898-1965) also contains such a moment, a musical scene of unforgettable poignancy.
Fien de la Mar was a celebrity in theatre and film in the 1930s and 1940s. Born into a famous Amsterdam theatre family De la Mar, her father Nap de la Mar taught her the trade. She had a great talent for acting and singing. Emotions like vulnerability, sensuality, joy or anger she knew how to convey with lifelike conviction. She was a bold, energetic performer. Fien was loved by audiences but also reviled. Outside the limelight, she was known for her fickle character, her alcohol abuse and her escapades with men.
The documentary I want to be happy, created by Annette Apon, is named after the song of the same name sung by Fien de la Mar in the Dutch film Bleeke Bet (1934). This film directed by Alex Benno and Richard Oswald, is set in Amsterdam's working-class neighbourhood the Jordaan. The song I want to be happy was written by Jacques van Tol. Lyricist Van Tol wrote for many cabaret artists. Because he was wrong in World War II for crafting Nazi propaganda, he subsequently published under pseudonyms (Pinkhof, Bert van Eyck and Jip Feldman).
Bleeke Bet (Aaf Bouber), a vegetable merchant, does not want her daughter Jans (Jopie Koopman) to marry the sailor Ko (Johan Heesters). Jans has to marry someone else for financial gain. With the support of shop assistant Ka (Fien De la Mar) and Sally (Sylvian Poons) the ice cream man, Jans and Ko manage to get each other anyway. When Ka is in a nightclub with her new boyfriend, she looks gloomy. According to her boyfriend, her thoughts are with someone else. Motherly Ka soothes her counterpart. Then, as the orchestra plays tango music, she starts singing: I want to be happy.
Uncomfortable
Fien de la Mar sings as Ka that she seeks sociability. The sad thing is, she cannot find it with her boyfriend. The scene continues uncomfortably. She makes a confession. One day, she buried in her heart a silent love. To avoid succumbing to heartbreak, she doesn't want to be at home. The people on the dance floor stop dancing.
Sincere and confident, Ka sings that dancing and going out makes her happy. Even when she has had too much to drink and acts silly. Leaning against a pole and for the umpteenth time, she sings the chorus, with slower accompaniment from the music. From exuberance, her mood changes to melancholy. Fien is phenomenal here and it is pure emotion. Unforgettable.
A contemporary expert would now conclude that Fien de La Mar suffered from a personality disorder, probably congenital. Her father was an alcoholic and died of delirium at the age of 52. Fien De la Mar could not live without attention. After her husband, architect Piet Grossouw, died in April 1957, she became depressed. At the end of that year, she attempted suicide. With the gas tap open and her wrists slit, she was found. She sustained a paralysed forearm.
Suicide
Still, her life got back on track: she got a stage engagement and television recordings were made. Depression, however, continued to trouble her. Only sparsely was she asked to play. Her acting style was getting out of date. She became lonely and jumped out of a window in April 1965. Five days later, she was dead.
The documentary I want to be happy made Apon in a montage of existing film and photo footage of Fien De la Mar. Well-known actors of today read out statements made by her then colleagues. Most of the statements were taken from Fien de la Mar, portrait of an artist, a bit of a chatty biography, written by Jenny Pisuisse. Through delayed images and soundscapes a picture of De la Mar is painted with detachment. A vulnerable woman brought down by her erratic nature.
The distance from the viewer is increased by the portrayal of actress Johanna ter Steege who takes on the role of Fien de la Mar. She prepares to perform the poem Construction (1940) by Martie Verdenius to be recited. This poem was recited by Fien de la Mar just after the war. It is about the bombing of Rotterdam. It is a highlight of her career. You see Ter Steege getting made up, picking out a dress and studying. It has something contrived and says little about the riveting life the celebrity led.
The suggestion that we have forgotten stars like Fien de la Mar is not true. Much has been published about De La Mar in newspapers, magazines and YouTube. In 1990, there was even an exhibition dedicated to her at the then Theater Instituut in Amsterdam. But it is nice that Fien is once again in the picture.
Any more Fien? See these documentary from the old box and the film Pale Bet.
I want to be happy also runs in the (home) cinema.
English (UK) 
Nederlands 
Français 
