But then. A day before Christmas, the prime minister experiences a sleepless night. He has no appetite for the Glühwein provided by the housekeeping service. The Christmas pastry, delivered by a friendly VVD baker, remains untouched. The security guards see their object sitting upright in his bed
Read and shudder
That summer evening, Michelle de Kat sat smugly in a corner of the blood-hot studio from which the elections were being covered. Elections that necessarily followed the fall of cabinet Rutte II. Deep disagreements between VVD and PvdA over the dramatic outcome of the dramatically concluded Europe referendum of April 2016 heralded this fall. Over 70 % of voters had filled in a 'No' to the treaty with Ukraine, with no knowledge of its content. Voters are anxious and angry and are committing resistance in this way. And this just at a time when the Netherlands was holding the six-month EU presidency.
The Cat does not need an explanation for the mishap in her predictions. She has had enough. The only reason she is still around is the need to win new commissions. She did get the trend, but she missed the extreme results on both flanks - left and right - for one. That the PVV would win the election was clear, but 45 seats (30%) was almost unthinkable. Nor had she seen the loss of the ruling VVD and PvdA, reduced to splinter parties, coming. She does not listen to the political leaders' comments. She sends her American friend a message: 'A nightmare is hanging over me. I just missed the essence of our Dutch policies'. It could have been a message of very many. Individuals, not parties
There is an exuberant mood in the PVV's crowded, makeshift group room.
There is an exuberant mood in the crowded, improvised PVV group room. A special committee room has been cleared to accommodate all 45 newly elected members. The Leader, 'L', of the PVV, after the lengthy applause due to him, states that the Dutch people have overwhelmingly spoken: 'Stop the flow of refugees, in favour of a tougher approach to Moroccan youths and the removal of the administrative and artistic elite that has lost the trust of ordinary people for so long.
After the leader, the Official Party Secretary ('AS'), also a PVV group member, takes the floor. There follows a relatively nuanced speech by PVV standards about cooperation with other, newly elected MPs in which she deliberately does not mention the names of these MPs' parties. This also fits the latest trend suggested by De Kat: political leaders matter, not the parties they represent. L, with his one-man political foundation and authoritarian style fits squarely into this picture. AS, with its strong sense of style and design, is also a paragon of this new reality. With De Kat, she has, unfortunately, a shopping spree had to cancel. Too bad, because how much De Kat knows about how to deal with ordinary people while still being distinctive!
Failure
The PVV was cunningly kept off the platform at the 2010 formation by the VVD and the CDA partly because of a ukase from the Palace. A tolerated PVV position was then the most that could be achieved. Insofar as L now thinks he may directly lead the upcoming formation process, The Cat takes him out of that dream. The remnants of the Old Politics are still abundantly present. The CDA, which has barely lost any seats, is given the formation task of forming a 'new style' political business cabinet with lots of 'free issues' in which parties can seek majorities in parliament as they see fit. With the new political leaders of D66, SP and CU - together with the CDA and a few unaligned MPs exactly 76 seats - the CDA formateur seems to be able to come a long way. At the very last minute, the joint leaders stumble over the renewal of the Participation Act, of which each leader has put their own variant on the table. The final failure of Old Politics is a fact.
After-sales agreement
In the country, partly due to the campaign in the Morning Newspaper, supported by the necessary polls by The Cat, there is a lot of noise about this Old Politics. A special informateur must now work with L to arrive at a "cabinet that can count on a majority in parliament". L - together with the AS - has not been idle in the meantime. Wherever possible, he has sought support for the success of the formation task that he sees inescapably coming his way. Entirely in the style of 'yes people, no parties', he managed to quickly win over ten unaffiliated MPs from the fragmented political landscape - within two weeks. Thus, with six from the VVD, five from the CDA and the SP, three from D66 and three from the new GroenLinks/PvdA combination, he neatly ends up with 77 seats. And 'quid pro quo' in De Kat's invisible direction: one gets a law that has been lobbied for so long, another gets a fund for their own field of activity, yet another is granted a mayoralty in due course, etc..
Since politics is only about individuals, it is also only about the story being told to its own constituency
Since politics is now only about individuals, it is also only about the story being told to one's constituency, and how the media will go along with it. The Cat's Polls are crucial in this. Control mechanisms used by political parties and traditional media disappear like snow in the sun.
The agreements reached by the PVV will be contained in the so-called 'After Summer Agreement'.
The key points of this agreement are:
- Refugee policy: tightening the concept of 'refugee', systematic return to home countries of refugees who entered after 1 January 2015, no issuing of residence permits to 'obvious fortune seekers and criminals';
- Security policy: reporting obligation for young people aged 14 to 26 of Moroccan origin, reporting will take place at local police posts that will also be reinforced with military personnel;
- Culture: complete privatisation of the cultural sector, including top institutions and halving the number of arts colleges;
- Reorganisation Civil Service resulting in five core ministries (General including Administration, Economy/Social, Education, Space and Security - free after the 1981 Vonhoff Commission). The top civil service of SGs and DGs (Secretaries General and Directors General) are drastically reorganised, all those involved lose their positions and resign. Or in De Kat's words: 'flushing, not rinsing clean'. On the remaining parts, it has been agreed that existing policies will be continued with an extra focus on care, the elderly and education. To everyone's surprise, 'Away from Europe' - one of the PVV's election items - gets no attention at all: Europe has been named a 'free issue'.
- Legislation will mainly take place through an AMVB (Order in Council) where parliamentary approval is not required.
The media hardly dwells on the speed of the formation. There is a widespread need to get rid of Old Politics and this also affects the functioning of journalism.
The dolls
To fill all the new posts - ministers, secretaries of state and top civil service positions - as quickly as possible, an American consultancy firm has been hired. This agency will be joined by an ex-general (male) , a professor (male), an artist (female) and an entrepreneur (female), all BNs. These individuals are also candidate ministers for a core ministry. L, as the intended prime minister, also in charge of the 'General' ministry, does not trust the AIVD in the usual screening of candidate ministers. Through his US sources, he is aware of the double agendas they say the AIVD is pursuing. According to American friends, the service has been given an untrustworthy label internationally. L, made suspicious by his years of personal security, is now having this screening done by that US agency on the advice of De Kat and a US think tank. For now, funding for the advisory services is channelled through the Think Tank towards L's one-man foundation.
The core cabinet of five ministers has a corps of 15 secretaries of state, three per minister. AS became secretary of state for intelligence because of her legal background. Although AS initially hesitated and would have liked the creative industries as a portfolio, De Kat managed to pull her to this side.
The king has flu
Six weeks after the elections, the new core cabinet appears on the Palace steps. The king has been replaced by the Vice-President of the Council of State due to a sudden onset of summer flu. The press photo, copied by every medium imaginable, shows a smiling prime minister, a looking away vice-president, and beaming ministers: the entrepreneur on Economy/Social, the artiste on Education, the professor on Space and the ex-general on Security.
'Less, less is often still not enough'
The prime minister gave a brief explanation of the proposed Cabinet policy that evening during a special TV broadcast by the Government Information Service. The audience seems to listen with approval to his words on insecurity in the world, the need for strong defence, help for the elderly and separating the wheat from the chaff in his own Netherlands. The 'less, less is often still not enough' seems to be the new credo. At the end of the broadcast, he thanked the people profusely for the support he had received in recent weeks.
Immediately after the broadcast, The Cat's website reported that 60% of the population have confidence in the new cabinet and 70% have confidence in its leader.
Christmas 2016: turmoil
In the media, calm prevails on the political front for now. The protests from society because of allegedly discriminatory and anti-cultural cabinet policies are boringly dismissed as an old cow from the multicultural ditch. The media finds it more interesting for readers, listeners and/or viewers to bring personal news about the members of the new government. Securing the rights of the elderly and those in need of care has earned the cabinet a lot of goodwill. L has strengthened his position as prime minister by channelling the external communications of core ministers and secretaries of state through him, supported remotely by The Cat. Very occasionally, a cartoon about 'L as our polder MAO' appears.
Although De Kat's percentages on confidence show a slight drop, they are still above average: 55 % for the cabinet and 60% for the prime minister.
But then. A day before Christmas, the prime minister experiences a sleepless night. He has no appetite for the Glühwein provided by the housekeeping service. The Christmas pastry, delivered by a friendly VVD baker, remains untouched. The security guards see their object sitting upright in his bed, reading in an 'in the hands of' file of several A4 pages, prepared by AS. For a few days now, some of his ministers have been under fire over what appear to be 'minor issues' (one over a roll of film and the other over some unusual private trips to Asia) but certainly not insurmountable, albeit on social media the clamour is growing.
Drumming fingers
But this time the files tell the hard facts behind the issues and they are very serious. On a whim and without further consultation with The Cat, the prime minister cancelled his New Year trip to Hungary that he was supposed to make after Christmas. The mire of sleet, ice water, mud and brine outside reflect his thoughts. It is difficult for L now to assess which hits the people harder: the security minister's apparent, active interference in the disappearance of the infamous 1995 Srebrenica film reel. Or the Space Minister's confirmed sex trips to Thailand where the professor abused underage boys.
When the two ministers appear in front of the prime minister's desk in the middle of the night and with their snowy coats still on, they see that his fingers of the right hand are drumming on the back of his left hand. Intimi know this is a bad omen.
When the two ministers appear in front of the prime minister's desk in the middle of the night and with their snowy coats still on, they see that his fingers of the right hand are drumming on the back of his left hand. Intimi know this is a bad omen. Internally, the prime minister is also furious about the screening by the US agency but he shows no sign of that now. His venom focuses on the two. He leaves them standing and hands them a letter of resignation to sign unread. With the AS - secretary of state for justice - they have to settle the matter further. He no longer wants to see them himself.
Meanwhile, he has already selected two friendly outsiders for the vacant ministerial posts. A super-fast poll of a number of PVV voters about the impending changes was also conducted through De Kat's office. These voters have responded positively: now they finally have an answer for the increasingly noisy constituency. Within social media, the slogan "Away with those two" has already been liked a million times within a day. The prime minister says the two cannot count on lenient treatment in the friendly Morning Newspaper. He has since agreed with the editors of this newspaper that the entire front page on the morning after Christmas will be dominated by a headline in chocolate letters: CONFIDENCE IN THE PREMIER ONLY. What does bother L is that The Cat herself has apparently disappeared off the face of the earth. Why doesn't she answer? As far as he knows, she has never been on skis. But then, where is she?
Christmas Eve 2016: Europe again
What the usually suspicious prime minister does not know is that the incipient turmoil surrounding his cabinet has quickly led to intimates wondering what the future of the PVV and its leader will be. Hasn't L's shelf life since first appearing in 2006 already been overtaken by history? A casual question posed by De Kat that keeps reverberating in the minds of intimates. Or: isn't the high confidence in L based on social quicksand?
Why is The Cat not responding to her voicemails? She needs The Cat now!
Above all, there is discontent because many state secretaries have been recruited from the PVV but no loyal PVV member has been appointed minister. The magic appointment limit is entirely locked in the suspicion of L, is how those involved perceive this situation. A message from unexpected quarters brings an acceleration in the thinking and actions of this group. It is now no longer about the fall of the two ministers. AS, as PVV secretary of state, has learned of an ultra-secret document about the location and significance of the US consultancy agency hired by L. This agency appears to have close ties with German intelligence services. At the instigation of the Germans, the agency successfully convinced L personally that no adverse intentions concerning Europe and the EU could be included in the post-summit agreement. Europe must continue to present a united front against the terrorist Islamic State, the instruction said. AS knows that now is the time to act fast and that she can now cash in on her fated position as L's possible successor. Why is De Kat not responding to her voicemails? She needs De Kat now! But above all, what did De Kat know about the instruction from the friendly consultancy firm?
The parties of the then 2010 gedoogakkoord are confidentially briefed by AS on her takeover plan after which she and some backers draft an agreement in principle that will have sufficient support from VVD, CDA, D66 and the new combination GroenLinks/PvdA. The agreement provides for the fall of the cabinet including L and the need for new elections. To restore the breach of trust with the cultural sector, the parties will work secretly on a structural recovery programme on the advice of the GreenLeft/PvdA leader.
Irreversible.
Early on Christmas Eve, a revelation on a Belgian news site about the issue of Europe in the formation of the post-summer agreement appears. Political observers from left to right describe the report as "deadly for prime minister and cabinet". The group around AS agreed not to comment if called by L. The vice-president of the Council of State has since been informed by the initiator.
The Cat is still not responding. Where is she anyway? Meanwhile, she has followed everything and is again more than 100% sure of her crystal ball. The nightmare has completely vanished like snow in the winter sun. She leaves her holiday address for AS via via. But contact with anyone else she does not want.
So Anyway
The Morning News website is the first to pontificate on the big news about the new agreement called 'Christmas Package 2016'.
All media outlets want to know from De Kat how the people react to the news. But De Kat is not answering. She is enjoying a short and, in her own experience, well-deserved holiday with her American boyfriend. No geKat in the media for a while, she joked to her most loyal staff during the early Christmas drinks.
And then: a knock on the door of her holiday home: UPS is delivering a large Christmas parcel. Excited, she reads the sender's name. She whispers practically inaudibly to herself: 'So Anyway'. That very evening, she brings forward her return flight to Amsterdam. She is sure: she won't miss a single New Year's reception around AS.
The Cat is back in town!
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