Bending, concrete and brown sugar: why Paulien Cornelisse can't get bored of Japan

Long before flower arranging, forest bathing and tidying up in Japanese became hype, Paulien Cornelisse was a big fan of the country. Her new book Japan in a hundred small pieces is like a manual Japan for beginners.

Her love for Japan once started with Bobby & Kate's colourful, mole-sweet-smelling eraser - similar to Hello Kitty - which Paulien Cornelisse (44) absolutely loved as a little girl. As a student in 1998, during a semester in Hiroshima, she discovered that that scent that seemed so fake actually came from a real flower in Japan. She lost her heart to that special country, where people wear mouth caps instead of sunglasses, workers are required to dye their hair black and where a flush sound button on the toilet to drown out your own embarrassing noises is commonplace. 'I feel at home there,' says Paulien Cornelisse, 'while no Japanese will find that I am at home there. It's one-sided love.'

Small fiddles

This month your book on Japan will be published and a second series of your TV show will begin in mid-May Tokidoki: What continues to fascinate you so much about Japan?

'I love detailed things, little fiddles, and in Japan that is ubiquitous. Take those little items from Bobby & Kate that I loved as a toddler. Attached to a coloured pencil was a small case with tiny pencils inside, which did the trick. I can really enjoy that level of detail. The people there are very friendly. In the Netherlands, we are used to having our hearts on our sleeve and constantly commenting on each other. I also have that side to me, but I really like the fact that Japanese people think very carefully beforehand about what they say and how it is for the other person. But I also get irritated sometimes by all those complicated manners, you know. Saying goodbye to someone is virtually impossible. You just have to keep bowing and saying, "Sorry, it's terrible that I have to leave." And then a hundred times.'

Japan has also become loved by others: in recent years, everything coming out of Japan seems to become a hype. Where does this appeal lie?

'When I was six, we did a project on Japan at school and I tasted sushi for the first time. Nobody had heard of it then, but in the years that followed, sushi quickly became commonplace. I still remember Duyvis coming out with Japanese snack nuts in the 1990s, which by the way are in no way Japanese, but that aside. I do find it remarkable that every time something different from Japanese culture suddenly appeals to people so much. I think that is because it is such an isolated and ancient culture. Japan deliberately closed itself off from the rest of the world for hundreds of years, which has allowed it to develop in complete isolation. Even things that originally came from China, such as the tea ceremony and writing, have developed into something very distinct and unique.'

'That everything there is different from the rest of the world is, I think, what makes it so attractive to us. Japan has the character of an island state, they call it 'island spirit' themselves. That's also why those complicated manners came about. On an island, you cannot risk being ostracised from the group. Those manners should prevent problems in social interaction.'

Can you give an example?

'On different social occasions, the angle at which you should bow is important: you need to know whether you should bow very deeply, or just a little. And how many seconds you have to bow. This clear hierarchy can also be seen in language: if you address someone higher up than you, you need to use different words than when addressing people at the same level. I have a booklet with verb forms in Japanese, and when you open the first page you already get depressed by how many forms there are and for what occasion. On top of that, Japan also has three types of writing. It's really quite complicated. So I am a walking faux pas, because I express myself ungrammatically and bluntly. I try to compensate for that by just smiling a lot of friendly smiles.'

Social codes

What do you marvel at most?

'Japanese culture is known to be very indirect, where what is meant is never said. Because of that social mask, many people think you will never get to know the true face of the Japanese. This is precisely why I find it moving that when I talk to Japanese people, they really want to talk to me. I often sense a kind of relief when they can talk to a foreigner - then all those formalities and rules don't matter so much. I am sometimes surprised that they don't break out of those social codes more often. But maybe we have just as many here, only the other way round. In the Netherlands, if you are not spontaneously yourself or give your opinion on everything, you probably don't really count as part of the group. When it comes to your own culture, you might have a blind spot for that.'

How have have you seen Japan change over the past 20 years?

'The country is greatly aged. Few babies are born and the population is also getting very old - which is one of the reasons why we in the West are fascinated by Japan, because we want the same. In 2014, more incontinence nappies were sold than baby nappies. Whenever I am in Japan, a crooked Japanese person always comes shuffling through my field of vision. How it is that they get so old I don't think is exactly clear. On the island where the Japanese become the áller oldest, I heard people bless that it's because they eat a lot of brown sugar'.

Clean-up guru

Japan is also seen as a land of great wisdom. Is that image correct?

'Well... Zen Buddhism comes from Japan, and there is certainly wisdom in that - it is not for nothing that the mindfulness hype in the West is based on it. I also think Japan's stoic attitude to life is wise: not to be constantly carried away by your primary emotions. At the same time, a lot of not-wise things happen in Japan too. Take tidying guru Marie Kondo: when we think of Japan, we think of empty rooms with only the bare essentials in them, things that are also beautifully designed. We think that's "zen". But in reality, many Japanese houses are incredibly messy and full of shit I would have thrown away a long time ago. So I rather think that Marie Kondo became so popular because she identified a big problem in her own country.'

Is there also something really stupid about Japan?

'Yes, what I really can't get over is the land being poured under concrete. Out of 250 rivers, there are only three whose banks are not completely sealed with concrete. Nature in Japan is fantástic, as it is a volcanic region, but the coastlines are full of tetrapods, four-legged concrete structures meant to break tidal waves, when they don't. Because of earthquakes and tsunamis, nature has always been something 'dangerous', so controlling it is considered a good thing. And so mountain slopes are smoothed with smooth concrete: so, done. There is a very corrupt system behind it, with a strong lobby. Really terrible. Because because it's not part of Japanese culture to protest, environmental organisations don't get much of a foothold.'

Jesus' twin brother

I read in your book that Jesus did not die on the cross but moved to Japan.

'Yes, some Japanese Christians believe that. A small village on the main island is said to have Jesus' tomb. They believe there that the man who died on the cross was Jesus' twin brother, and that Jesus himself married a Japanese woman, had a lot of children and spent the rest of his life on a garlic farm.'

What will you never be able to fully understand?

'Yes, the solitary life of many Japanese. For the new series of Tokodoki I made an episode about that. Many young people find relationships and sex too much hassle. Many women, I think, are not keen on the traditional role of housewife. And men are becoming 'grass eaters' because they are no longer looking for 'meat', but are grazing in the meadow and waiting. A quarter of Japan's thirty-somethings have never been in a relationship and there are many who never get out the door.'

'For instance, I visited a young man who still lives with his parents and works remotely for a company. Once every two months he comes out once, the rest of the time he sits inside by himself. His mother puts out food for him. "But don't you eat with your parents then?" I asked. No, no, that caused too much tension, because his parent doesn't really approve of his lifestyle. But so he does let his mother cook for him every day. That's where my understanding stops.'

Sitting in the bath

And what do you like most about Japan?

'The Japanese sitting bath: a bath where you sit upright with your knees raised. You put bath powder in and then the water takes on a different colour and smell, and then you sit in it for a while. In the beginning it took some getting used to, but now I don't like those Dutch bathtubs at all. And the food, eh... I have never not enjoyed my food, every dish is fresh, tasty and well-priced. The people are very friendly, you never have to worry about being treated unkindly and if you ask anything, you always get an answer. The toilets don't cost anything either, and... well, I could go on and on.